In my last post, I shared how lived experience shapes who we become as counselors. But that experience isn’t just what draws us into this field; it’s also what defines our effectiveness once we’re in it. Counselors are trained to be generalists. Our graduate programs do an admirable job introducing us to theory, lifespan development, […]
The Limits of a Counselor: Why Experience Still Matters Read More »
Attached is a photo of me at about seven or eight years old, grinning ear to ear, surrounded by real working tools and a fancy tool belt I received for Christmas. At the time, I didn’t know it, but that picture captured the essence of who I’d become, a lifelong troubleshooter. Back then, I worked
The Long Road to Counseling and Counselor Education: Why Lived Experience Matters Read More »
When a child starts to struggle at school, at home, or in relationships, most parents do what good parents do: they seek help. They call the school counselor, ask friends for referrals, or look for someone online who “specializes in kids like mine.” The problem is, in today’s world, that often means walking into a
Pt. 3 – Seeing Beyond the Label: What Parents Should Look for in a Therapist Read More »
One of the hardest parts of being a counselor, or a teacher, for that matter, is learning how to care deeply without getting swept up in every new wave of mental-health awareness or trend. Often, someone walks into our counseling office or students speak up in my classes and say, “I just want to know
Over the years, I’ve noticed that when I speak about the diagnosis and overdiagnosis of children, or the growing tendency to label every challenge as a mental health disorder, some people assume I’m speaking from a place of privilege or outdated thinking. I understand why. I don’t fit the profile of what many would call
Pt 1 – When Labels Become Identities: What decades of experience have taught me. Read More »
There’s a saying that goes, “The best sermons are lived, not preached.” It means that actions speak louder than words, that integrity is found not in what we say, but in how we live. In my family, there’s no better example of this than my grandfather, Cortez Wesley. He never wrote a book or led
When I was twelve or thirteen, my parents came home from what felt like a spiritual revival for families. They’d just returned from one of Bill Gothard’s weeklong Basic Youth Conflicts seminars; those massive evangelical events that could fill entire stadiums in the 1970s and early 80s. They brought back binders, books, games, and a
We’ve become a culture of shortcuts. Quick dopamine hits instead of slow growth. Virtual affection instead of human touch. Excuses instead of effort. And while some substitutes come from heartbreak or loss and deserve compassion, others are chosen out of fear, laziness, or comfort. Let me start with empathy. Not everyone has access to what
Stop Accepting Substitutes Read More »
The Edge of the Bed Most nights, I sleep on the edge of our large king-sized bed. Not because Dawn pushes me there, she’s too kind for that, but because of Pierre, our small, white Bichon Frise, who seems to believe that love requires no personal space. Pierre doesn’t just want to be near us;
Pierre’s Lesson: The Heartbeat of Connection Read More »
There’s a certain kind of phrase that rolls off the tongue easily when we don’t know what to say. “Everything happens for a reason.” “God has a plan.” “This must be part of something bigger.” They’re meant to soothe, but too often, they wound. I’ve sat with people who lost a child, who were betrayed
The Cruelty of Comforting Lies Read More »