When I was about fourteen or fifteen, I decided it was finally time to shave. My face only had a little peach fuzz, but I’d watched my dad for years and figured I knew what to do. I opened the medicine cabinet, found his old safety razor, the kind you twisted at the bottom so
Shaving With Dull Blades Read More »
We’ve all heard the mantra: No means no. And in the world of dating, power dynamics, and preventing abuse, it should always mean exactly that: clear, firm, non-negotiable. No one should ever have to wonder if their boundaries will be respected. But here’s the twist: in long-term, committed relationships, intimacy doesn’t always move in straight
No Means No… Sometimes. Read More »
When I think about what really holds a family, a community, even a society together, I always come back to values. Not the cultural signals that come and go with the times, but the steady truths that endure across centuries. Take honesty. No society admires deceit as a virtue. The same goes for kindness, generosity,
When Values Outlast Identity Read More »
When I first started as a Child Protective Investigator in Arizona in the early 1990s, cultural competency training was still in its infancy. I went into those sessions eager to learn. I wanted to be responsive, respectful, and effective in my work. But what I encountered was something very different from what I had hoped
Cultural Competence or Cultural Stereotyping? Read More »
In counseling, we often lean on the ACEs framework, Adverse Childhood Experiences, as a way to understand the lasting impact of abuse, neglect, and family dysfunction. It’s a useful lens, but it has a blind spot. Not every hard or painful experience a child goes through is trauma. Some adversities, though they sting in the
When Hardship Isn’t Trauma: The Difference Between ACEs and Growth Experiences Read More »