We are living in the best of times, yet we behave as though we’re living through the worst. A hundred years ago, most people had never felt the luxury of a hot shower. They bathed in tin tubs with water heated on a stove, often shared by the whole family. Toothpaste, antibiotics, and refrigeration were […]
The Best of Times, And the Most Fragile Read More »
When Charles C. Ryrie (1925–2016), well-known Dallas Theological Seminary professor and dispensational theologian, wrote Balancing the Christian Life, his goal wasn’t to ignite decades of theological warfare. He wanted to talk about balance; about holding the Christian walk in tension between freedom and responsibility, doctrine and practice. But that word “balance” ended up setting off
Balancing the Christian Life… Or Fighting About It? Read More »
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned in life is that reassessing your beliefs is not the same thing as caving to pressure. It’s not cowardice. It’s not compromise; it’s growth. Throughout life, we should be constantly examining our positions and our direction. We move toward a value we believe in, and often that value
Beyond Symbols: Living by Values, Not Flags Read More »
I’ve spent much of my life teaching, counseling, and raising kids of my own, and one thing I keep noticing is how often the best of our intentions lead us in the wrong direction. We step in to protect or advocate, certain that we’re doing the right thing, only to realize later that our “help”
When Helping Hurts Read More »
Today, in my garage, I picked up an old wooden grabber. It wasn’t much to look at; worn and twisted, but a name written across the wooden handle caught my eye. In faded ink, it read Doreen Wesley 216 A. My grandmother’s name. Her room number in the nursing home where she spent her last
The Grabber with Grandma’s Name Read More »
When I was about fourteen or fifteen, I decided it was finally time to shave. My face only had a little peach fuzz, but I’d watched my dad for years and figured I knew what to do. I opened the medicine cabinet, found his old safety razor, the kind you twisted at the bottom so
Shaving With Dull Blades Read More »
We’ve all heard the mantra: No means no. And in the world of dating, power dynamics, and preventing abuse, it should always mean exactly that: clear, firm, non-negotiable. No one should ever have to wonder if their boundaries will be respected. But here’s the twist: in long-term, committed relationships, intimacy doesn’t always move in straight
No Means No… Sometimes. Read More »
When I think about what really holds a family, a community, even a society together, I always come back to values. Not the cultural signals that come and go with the times, but the steady truths that endure across centuries. Take honesty. No society admires deceit as a virtue. The same goes for kindness, generosity,
When Values Outlast Identity Read More »
When I first started as a Child Protective Investigator in Arizona in the early 1990s, cultural competency training was still in its infancy. I went into those sessions eager to learn. I wanted to be responsive, respectful, and effective in my work. But what I encountered was something very different from what I had hoped
Cultural Competence or Cultural Stereotyping? Read More »
In counseling, we often lean on the ACEs framework, Adverse Childhood Experiences, as a way to understand the lasting impact of abuse, neglect, and family dysfunction. It’s a useful lens, but it has a blind spot. Not every hard or painful experience a child goes through is trauma. Some adversities, though they sting in the
When Hardship Isn’t Trauma: The Difference Between ACEs and Growth Experiences Read More »